Silver Lining

For the past couple of days I have been looking for the silver lining in my fertility journey. Right now, I am in my third and final cycle of Femara and timed intercourse, just peeing on OPKs and waiting for my monitoring appointment on Friday morning. I’ve gotten so used to this process already, the Femara (and headaches), the monitoring, trigger shot, then two long weeks of progesterone, that even though I have only been doing it for a short time, I’m sort of going to miss it. Our fertility journey is going on a brief hiatus at the end of this cycle because I’ve been accepted into a graduate program to get my PhD in Bioinformatics! We are planning on picking up with 3 IUIs this fall to coincide with the three summer due dates that would be best for my program. After that, IVF…

But right now I’m not going to focus on that, instead I want to focus on the good things that will come if I DO NOT get pregnant this cycle:

  1. I’m going to run a 10k! So far I have only done a few 5ks and it has been a couple of years since my last one, but the 10k I want to sign up for is in September, so I have a good amount of time to prep if I get bad news at the end of this month.
  2. Cinci Comic Expo won’t have a pregnant Hermione cosplayer running around in full school uniform (if I could even fit in it), so that will reduce the number of weird stares in my direction by at least half!
  3. All the drinking and enjoyment at Oktoberfest and Taste of Cincinnati, not to mention not having to walk around pregnant in the summer heat!
  4. Aaron and I want to go to Kings Island this year and I love making him ride roller coasters because he is such a chicken.
  5. Warm mead at the Ohio Ren Fest is the best and I would be so sad to have to miss that this year.
  6. We are planning to buy a house this summer regardless, but having a year to recuperate our savings and get the place in good shape would be wonderful.

That’s all I can think of so far, but I’m holding on to these consolation prizes (or silver linings) as tight as I can because they make me feel more at peace with this whole process. I really hate to put our journey on hold, but I know that my AMH was good in September, so it’s unlikely to drop dramatically by this coming September, and I’m still only 26. It’s going to be painful because every week a new pregnancy announcement pops up on my Facebook news feed and it’s like a stab in the stomach. And it will be hard seeing the new pregnancies and babies in the wonderful community I’m part of on The Bump. But we aren’t going to stop trying, just stop trying with 3 different medications and doctors’ visits every cycle. Hopefully this will be the right thing for our family and I am SO looking forward to what this year will bring no matter what the outcome of the HPT.


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